Sep 22, 2014

Final Fantasy X: The Bad Kind of Retro


With the power supply in my PC dead, and its replacement DOA, I have to find my gaming needs elsewhere. Since my local Gamestop has been having ridiculous clearance deals on PS2 stuff, I've decided to try Final Fantasy X again. I first played it a few years back (when I first got my PS2), as it seemed quintessential to the era. After 25 hours, I decided I had better things to play and moved on. Now that this is pretty much my only option for a deep, immersive gaming experience, I've dived back in again, only to discover that there's pretty much no way you can play this without cheating.

Case in point: Jecht Spheres. About half-way through the game, you discover old recordings of Tidus's father. Besides giving backstory, they also unlock Auron's Overdrive abilities. However, the evil part is that half of these collectables are in previous parts of the game. To find them, you'll have to wait until the end of the game when you gain the ability to backtrack and search through THE ENTIRE GAME AGAIN. Or, you know, just look it up in a strategy guide. I'm fine with well-hidden collectables, but hiding them in previous parts of the game is just dirty.

Even better are the ultimate weapons. They play out like a particularly obtuse Everquest quest chain. First, you gotta do things stupid thing to get a useless item. Then you do another stupid thing, and it magically changes useless item into... another useless item. Now you have to do a huge chain of random, stupid things to get each weapon, each of which stop you from gaining experience, making them... useless again. However, if you use the first useless item on each useless weapon (and two additional magical things you've maybe collected), they become the most powerful items in the game. SURPRISE! Good luck figuring that one out on your own. 

Want to get a few more powerful aeons before you defeat Sin? Well, first you'll have to go through each of the temple trials again and make sure you collected each of the secrets. The secrets work by taking a special sphere and placing it in a seemingly-random slot. Collect all five of those, then go to a secret place on the map and fight a boss battle. No, none of this is ever mentioned, or even hinted at in game.

Now, all this stuff IS optional. They're not mandatory to finish the game, but they sure do help when you face those insane final bosses. I know that Final Fantasy has historically had tons of this stuff, but this seems like 80's game design. Garbage like this was how I ended up missing Vincent when I first played VII. I didn't even know he existed until I read a strategy guide.

 On the other hand, GameFAQs basically means scores of free strategy guides, so it could be worse.

Nov 17, 2013

Impressions: Gotham City Impostors


Behind Gotham City Impostors lays a fascinating premise. When Batman leaves Gotham, gangs of impostors come out and do battle. What you get are psychopathic vigilantes who attempt to honor the spirit of the ‘Bat by stapling cardboard batman logos to tee-shirts and loading up with assault rifles. Meanwhile, lunatics with white face paint don whatever green and purple rags they own and do the same thing as imitation Jokers. The result? Lots of really fake super hero knock-offs running around trying to gun each other down, and it’s a lot better than the free-to-play moniker might have you expect.
He's the hero that Gotham deserves, just not one they
ever wanted to see.


Lets just get this out of the way: on a very basic level, it’s Call of Duty. Not just sorta, it IS Call of Duty. You get five pre-made loadouts with stuff you haven’t unlocked yet, and five you can customize. Each loadout lets you select primary and secondary weapons, a gadget, and various perks. Every weapon comes with a variety of mods, like red dot sights and extended mags, all with dozens of different camos to select. You compete in team deathmatch, domination, capture the flag, and kill confirmed, only by other names. See what I mean?


And yet, there’s actually some special sauce here. The trick is that each player can also select a unique form of movement. The grappling hook works just as you’d expect. There are inflatable shoes that let you charge up a huge leap. Jetpacks let you take to the sky on your own power. The wings let you soar and swoop down for a dive bombing attack, and the roller blades let you zoom around at high speeds and even hit jumps.
I prefer to think of this as a Joker/Bane hybrid.


When you start adding it up, you realize that it’s the class customization of Call of Duty with the movement of Quake or Tribes. That might sound derivative, but it actually manages to find its own state of existence. With no falling damage, the game encourages you to play vertically and zip about the levels in all manner of creative ways. The maps heavily use this, with jump pads, stake ramps, and platforms dotting every level. Only chumps stay on the ground; real heroes fly about and punch evil-doers from the sky.


However, there’re really not that many weapons to choose from. I could be wrong, but there doesn't seem to be any new weapons available since launch. There are three assault rifles (the auto, semi-auto, and bolt-action), two shotguns, and three heavy-machine guns. Now, there’s plenty of other things to unlock and customize, such as different body builds (trading off speed for bulk, for example), and psych profiles (giving you bonuses for certain actions, and penalties for others). It makes me wonder if Impostors has been a financial disappointment for WB Games, because F2P titles like these require fresh content to keep players dropping cash. Also, every other game mode but TD is deserted, which is sad.


I think I'm on fire here.
The monetization isn't bad, either. It’s not difficult to unlock things as you go, but a $3 starter pack will get you the basics right away. You can either keep slogging away for free, or you can just plop $20 on the table and essentially buy the whole thing with the Professional Pack. The nice part is when you spend cash, you actually know how much gameplay you’re getting, unlike most F2P games. At no point will you feel pressured to drop another $20 to negate various bogus energy or repair costs. Emphatically, this is F2P done right.

Free-to-play games don't have good reputations. They tend to be derivative, cheap, and unfair. Yet, Gotham City Impostors is surprisingly unique. It has fun with the Batman universe in a dark-yet-light-hearted way, is built on solid mechanics, and has a movement style that’s been lost since modern war games have dominated the scene. Hopefully the recent Humble Bundle will breath new life into this almost-forgotten game.

May 23, 2012

The Voting Horde


I recently saw the film adaptation of 1984. I’d hold it up right next to Gilliam’s Brazil in quality. The slower pace and quiet, thoughtful moments reminded me of some of Ridley Scotts more atmospheric movies.  As chilling a story as it is, I don’t think it’s very relevant any more. While its themes of the human spirit and danger of power are strong, Fascism of that sort really isn’t a danger anymore. While there’s plenty to be wary of, I don’t think it’s Orwell’s image of dictatorship.

Orwell took our tribalistic nationalism and inverted it. Instead of being afraid of the other guy’s nation, we become afraid of our own. However in today’s democracy, that nation is us. Politicians might seem like the cause, but they only get away with it because voters seem very open to deception. If we are to put a face on our national problems, they are ours. Or, if that is too scary, perhaps the faces of those around us. The grating drones with their cell phones, the wasting drunks in the street, the mindless consumers in the aisles; Anybody who can or will vote suddenly becomes the enemy of rationality.

This is one reason zombies have infested our pop culture so much. It’s the fear that we, as a people, as a collective, are not just a mindless crowd swaying about, but a bloodthirsty one that will devour the rational individual with an animalistic hunger.

If 1984 is fear of facism, the zombie apocalypse is fear of democracy. The crawling zombie hoard is reality television. It’s viral videos and Jersey Shore. It’s fear of the mindless, destructive masses whose numbers constantly grow and who will always win in the end. After they eat everything they get their hands on, they’ll eat each other, until they themselves are consumed.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping a human face – forever”-1984

1984 will remain a classic. Its exploration of the human spirit will remain timeless, if not its politics. However, if you want an exploration of modern political nightmares, I suggest you watch The Walking Dead instead.

Apr 24, 2012

First Generation Kindle: The Verdict


A few months ago, I picked up an old first-generation Kindle cheap on Ebay. Now that I’ve been using it for a while, I can say for certain that I LOVE IT.

It’s a qualified love, to be sure, but when it comes to the physical act of reading, I’ll pick the Kindle every time. It’s easier to hold. I can lie down and read without having to turn over or hold the book awkwardly to get to the next page. I can eat and read easily without having to hold down the pages with the salt and pepper shakers. This might sound lazy, but it wasn’t until I left it behind that I fully realized what a burden reading dead trees can be.

More importantly, I’ve found myself reading much more than I ever did before. I find myself blazing through 600-page books in under a week, record time for me. An ideal evening now is a nice cup of Earl Gray and a few hours with my Kindle.

There are downsides, of course. First, it’s really hard to simply flip through a book. Sure, there are a lot of ways you can search a book. Beyond the handy “search” function, you can highlight passages (which are saved in a separate entry for easy access) and you can dog-ear pages. However, the simple action of “seeing how many pages are left in this chapter” completely eludes the Kindle. Want to find a specific story in a compilation? Good luck. In both cases, you’re better off reading it straight through and just stopping whenever sleep overtakes you because it's easier than slowly flipping through the pages manually.

Another problem is vanity: I love physical books. Not necessarily reading them, but I love hunting for them in dusty bookstores and displaying them like trophies for everyone to see. I like having that huge collection of Erikson dominating my shelves, so that guests can look at their intimidating size and know that I conquered that. But pride aside, physical books can hold more than just printed stories. I like thumbing through my worn copy of Return of the King and remembering when I carried it on that backpacking trek through Arizona. I like remember that compilation of Alexander Pope I found in an airport bookstore on my way down to see my future Wife for the first time. Ebooks just don't hold that.

Ideally, every physical book I find buried in a used bookstore would contain an ebook, so I could read one and display the other, but perhaps that violates the principles of cake eating and having. 

Mar 28, 2012

Review: Yesterday

My review of the recent adventure game Yesterday is up on The Adrenaline Vault. It's telling that a terrible game can still be a pretty good example of the genre.

My aunt lives on a farm in the middle of the Wisconsin countryside. Like Keepers of the Citadel, innumerable cats run around, performing secret but essential tasks. As needed as they are, no one’s taken care of them in years. Once you could wonder into a barn and be greeted by a furry tribe of cuteness, but now you find a swarm of hideously inbred monsters. Adventure games are like those cats. Leave them alone in a vacuum for a decade and what comes out is a sickening mixture of all the recessive genes of 1990s point-and-clicks. Yet, where there’s a will, there’s a market. Some studios actually manage to craft fun games out of inventory puzzles. Adventure vets Pendulo think they can straddle the line with Yesterday and still deliver an approachable yet hardcore classic adventure game. Wrapped up with the styling of a horror thriller, is Yesterday a cute and cuddly kitten, or a mangled, inbred beast?

Mar 27, 2012

Myth Retrospective

The Adrenaline Vault has posted my retrospective article on the Myth series. It was New-Wave fantasy and had a narrative that was enhanced by the gameplay, not just featured along side it.


It’s understandable that Bungie would want to leave the Halo business. Once upon a time, they developed a host of different games. Around the new millennium, a bright-eyed stranger with deep pockets arrived and offered a deal they couldn’t refuse. By June of 2000, Bungie moved into the Microsoft harem, leaving behind all their children except their latest and most promising one, little baby Halo. Among those left behind were the Myth twins, two real-time tactics games known as The Fallen Lords and Soulblighter. Oppressively dark and punishingly difficult, Myth was an ancient burial ground of narrative. The bleached bones of fallen empires and the rusted armor of deadly warriors lay half-buried, whispering warnings to the players that they’ve never played something like this before. Nor have they ever since.

Feb 21, 2012

How Not To Write a Villain: The Horus Heresy

 My gleeful slog through pulp continues, this time into the world of Warhammer 40K, “Where there is only war”. The Horus Heresy series takes place ten thousand years before the 40k games and stories. It shows the slow decent of the Imperium of man from an empire of reason and science hell-bent killing everything alien to a theocracy that’s hell-bent on killing everything. It’s not much of a change, but it’s Warhammer. That means gritty, violent, and dark. Regardless, at the center of this transformation is Warmaster Horus, the greatest Primarch the Emperor ever made. The Horus Heresy novels open with a trilogy of books that set the stage. During the second book, False Gods by Graham McNeill, we finally see what caused this great and honorable warrior to become a dark servant of Chaos. Or rather we would, if the author didn't duck behind a curtain first.

Because the reader is (assumedly) approaching these books with knowledge of Warhammer 40k, we know that Horus is going to be a bad guy. We already know that everything going to go belly up and we’re just holding our breaths as to when and how. Even so, the first impressions of the Warmaster are positive. He’s shrewd, honorable, and full of more sense than we usually ascribe to Space Marines. At one point, he decides not to murder a peaceful race of distantly-related humans, a rarity in this xenophobic universe. After a while, we start to forget how twisted he’s soon to become and actually like him. This was how first book, Horus Rising by Dan Abbnet ended.

After an amazing introduction, I had to dive right into the second book. This is where everything has to get juicy, right? We see more of the dark conspiracy dedicated to warping Horus, and the tension ramps up. At the climax two-thirds of the way in, Horus is finally caught in the trap. Finally, we get to see what can change this paragon into a monster, right? Instead, the scene cuts away and next we see Horus, he’s an evil, bloodthirsty guy talking about overthrowing the Emperor.

 That’s right, instead actually showing us what we waded through 1000 pages for, we get a quick edit that explains nothing. I read Warhammer for the grand, bloody space operas, not the literary depth. Even so, it’s an incredibly unsatisfying resolution. If you’re going to go through the trouble to add a deep backstory to a villain, it’s a good idea to include why he’s a villain in the first place.