Cheeseheads Has Two Meanings

There's a huge throw-down in Wisconsin lately. As I once called this arctic wasteland my home, I try to check in every now and then and see if violent uprisings have taken over the land (my beautiful fiancée lives there, so these things are important). Well, it turns out that something like that happened just this week.

Wisconsin, like every other state, is running out of money. Thus, the governer, Scott Walker, decided to change (among other things), the health care and pension package for state employees. As per the war-time reporter at WTMJ:

Walker's plan would make workers pay half the costs of their pensions and at least 12.6 percent of their health care premiums. State employees' costs would go up by an average of 8 percent. The changes would save the state $30 million by June 30 and $300 million over the next two years to address a $3.6 billion budget shortfall.

Unions could still represent workers, but could not seek pay increases above the Consumer Price Index unless approved by a public referendum. Unions also could not force employees to pay dues and would have to hold annual votes to stay organized. Local police, firefighters and state troopers would retain their collective bargaining rights.

So, the pensions and premiums will increase, and they can't ask to increase wages above inflation. The last part seems sensable, but surely the premium increases are outrageous, right? Not really.

"It's not asking a lot, it's still about half of what private sector pensions do and health care packages do. So he's [the Governor is] basically saying, I want you public workers to pay half of what our private sector counterparts and he's getting riots."

So it all boils down to a privileged special interest whining because they'll have to pay half the rate for health insurance as normal people. A travesty, to be sure. *Yawn*, wake me up when they decide to refill the snack machine only one a month.

The best part are the demonstrations by the teachers union. Throwing the teacher unions out in from of the cameras is like threatening to drown a box of kittens. The image of a bunch of middle-aged women tending for sweet children evokes a mother-child image. Why, don't cut our pay, think of the children! If they cared about the children, they wouldn't work so hard to defend a system that pretty much does the opposite of educate. Those school teachers protesting at the capital are essentially like the autoworkers who made the Ford Festiva acting all hot and bothered about their pay when they make a product nobody wants to buy. Anyways, they look cute on camera and they get people thinking about the children, not the whiny antics of the other state unions.

But it doesn't stop there! For the price of one, you get two crazy events! While the republicans have enough votes to pass the bill, they legally can't even vote on it unless at least one democrat is present, and they all fled the state. Walker has be threatening to use the national guard to hunt them down and drag them back from their little stunt.

Wisconsin, you always make me laugh...